I had been salivating over pictures of Neapolitan pizza for the past few weeks, recalling my glorious wine and carb-filled days in Florence and observing Lucky Peach's Pizza Week. Well, post-hike hunger led my friend Monisha and I to Prova Pizzeria in WeHo, a new joint with perfect reviews and pics that nearly made me chomp my iPhone. We eagerly stared at the menu and decided on the Prova Signature which seemingly had the most ingredients and said 'Enough for Two'. Yes yes yes.
Imagining that fresh warm buffalo mozzarella and delicate basil drizzled in olive oil with slightly sizzling salami dancing in my mouth... my tastebuds were brimming with excitement! But my expectations were duly crushed by Calzone reality:
The lady who brought it out saw our synchronized confusion and asked, "Did the cashier not explain what a "Vesuvio" was? It means volcano because we bake another layer of dough on top. Kind of like a Calzone -- that's why it's enough for two people."
Despite the disappointment, the dough was good so I will return one day to get actual pizza there. To all pizzerias: if you must waste your ingredients in making Calzones, I beg you to have a separate, clearly labeled section for them so no one else gets unwittingly Calzoned.
More Calzone Testimonials
"You just bite it and oh, here's vomit on you." - Lauren
"What is the point of you? Give me a pizza and I'll fold it myself." - Monisha
"The only places that are allowed to have Calzones are Sbarro and Pizza Hut." - Monisha
"The ingredients don't even cook inside; they're just raw and drippy." - Monisha
"Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them." - Lesley Knope (Amy Poehler on Parks & Rec)